♥ xixi ze violinist ♥: See You Again.

Going to leave Malaysia tomorrow and to be honest, I'm not ready yet.

I know I'm so going to miss this place. The slow pace of it, the food, the people, everything.

I've developed this really bad habit of rushing down my food since last year. When the school gets too crazy, and I need to juggle between the school's crazy schedule and going to gigs to cover my monthly expenses, I am always rushing. Every minute counts.

When I wake up in the morning, I'll always have to rearrange the schedule for the day. Making mental notes how many minutes I can have for lunch, and what activities I have after that. Especially the days when I have gigs. I'll have to search for the gig place in advance, plan the whole journey, like I have to go out 1 hour early, which bus to take, or maybe subway is safer.... etc.

With so many things on my mind, especially the school stuff (what to practise, when I'll see my violin teacher again, oh and have to prepare for chamber and orchestra etc.) I subconsciously started this really awful habit of eating my meals really fast, and at the same time checking my phone while eating just in case I miss any messages regarding that day's activities.

Sometimes, I don't even know what I'm eating, I just know there are so many things on my mind, and I'm always in a frustrated mood. I experienced stomach cramps afterwards, or the feeling of wanting to throw up. Probably from indigestion or something I don't know. It had carried on for such a long period I didn't even notice this bad habit.

When I got back to Malaysia, my friends and my parents started to notice my weird behaviour. Like how I tend to walk faster, or how fast I gobble down my food. And when I realise that, I am really shocked, that how I subconsciously kill my health with these hazardous habits. :(

What I can say is my stomach and digestive system definitely not at the tip-top shape anymore. I ruin them without even knowing it. So after recognising this huge mistake, I decided to slowly change my habits. I always make mental notes to slow down when I eat. It was hard to control at first. I chew the food and swallow them so fast, I scare myself. But after a week of reminding myself, now I manage to slow down, and enjoy the whole food-eating process.

What I need to do now is continue doing this when I get back to Shanghai. Just. Chew. Slowly.

Another thing that I've come to realise is how "spending-mommy-&-daddy's-money" is our privilege. A privilege that I enjoyed, but now no longer wish to.

I remember last year when I got back, I didn't ask my mom to buy any clothes for me (I used to be pretty spoiled especially when it comes to shopping lol). And my mom was like, "Are you sure you don't want anything?" I said, "Yeah, I'm fine, I don't need anything." My mom actually felt sad about it. She wanted to buy things for me like what she always did when I was still young.

I guess, for parents, it's always nice to get treats or nice things for their children. And when one day, their kids grown up and stop asking them to buy things for them, they somehow feel melancholy about it.

Well mommy and daddy, I hope you'll spend those money for yourselves. You've been spending too much on me since young, and I'll try my best to stop taking from you guys and soon when I graduate I'll be the one to give you both money and bring you guys to travel. :) Meanwhile, just spend those money for yourselves, buy nice food or even go to nice places. Do that for me, ok? :)

I'm sorry that I still don't have the ability to earn so much to cover my study fee, but I'll do my best to cover my monthly expenses over there. :) I'll go to more gigs. :))

It's almost 12am now, and I have to wake up like 7am tomorrow. I guess I'll stop here. :) My luggage is almost exceeding the luggage limit again, I'll have to figure out what not-to-bring and what to keep. Till then, see you guys! :)

ps: It feels nice to write this late night post before I fly tomorrow. :) Late night is the time when I have the most blogging spirit lol.

Btw I want to thank Fion for sending me these lovely presents!!!! The 2 pretty rings and the doughnut lip balm! The lip balm is green colour and luckily my lip didn't go green after I apply it! hahahaa!

And this Penang Heritage tee!!! So in love! Is there really a road named "Step by Step Lane" in Penang?? :DDD So cute!